The Giant 



AND 



Other Nonsense Verse 



BY 



ALBERT W. SMITH 



ANDRUS & CHURCH 

ITHACA, N. Y. 

19IO 



T5 3^37 



" The Giant," the " Arctic Ball," and " Funnyland," in slightly different 
form, appeared originally in "The Ladies' Home Journal," and thanks are 
due to the editor for his kind permission to include them in this book. 



Copyright, 1910 
by Albert W. Smith, 



©CI.A265295 



5X^ 






"Co 

Jllpheus 

T)orothy 

and 

%ith. 



THE GIANT 

^npHERE is a Giant in the world 

-■- Whose head is up so high, 
He has to get down on his knees 
To look up in the sky. 

And when he feels the need of food, 

He wades out in the sea 
And fishes out a whale or two 

Just right to fricassee. 

Or if he's near to Hindustan 

He gathers up a few 
Young elephants with jungle brush 

For oriental stew. 

And when he tires of earthly food 

His diet, as a rule, 
Consists of planets roasted well 

And hung outside to cool. 

He sends his wife to gather them ; 

She brings them on a tray ; 
For cream to make the planet sauce 

She skims the Milky Way. 

When Mrs. Giant cooks, the steam 

Floats off across the sky 
In clouds that drop the rain that keeps 

The world from getting dry. 



THE GIANT 

And sometimes when the clouds are dark, 

The Giant gets his gun 
And shoots it in their very midst — 

Because he likes the fun. 

But when the sky is clear all day, 

Without a cloud in sight. 
The Giant finds his supper cold 

When he gets home at night. 

Whenever Mrs. Giant goes 

To tidy up the room, 
She picks a comet 'cause its tail 

Is handy for a broom. 

The Giant drinks, to quench his thirst, 

A whirling water-spout ; 
He gave up drinking mountain lakes 

lycst he should have the gout. 

He puts a forest in his pipe 

When he's inclined to smoke, 
And lights his match upon the moon ; 
The moon can't see the joke ! 

I think, my child, were you a moon, 

'Way off in stellar space, 
You'd feel put out if anyone 

Scratched matches on your face ! 



THE GIANT 

The Giant dresses up sometimes 

And goes to take a stroll ; 
And picks a little bunch of stars 

To deck his buttonhole. 

He's mighty careful which he takes ; 

He knows the ones to shun ; 
He burned his fingers badly once 

By fooling with the Sun. 

And once in absent minded mood 

He picked a nettle star ; — 
He ran a-yelling all the way 

From Rome to Zanzibar ! 

The islands are his stepping-stones, 

The continents his bed ; 
He slept on Greenland once and caught 

A snuffle in his head. 

He slides around the Arctic Pole ; 

And if he gets a chill 
He goes and sits a month or two 

In India or Brazil. 

He caught his trousers on Cape Horn 

And tore an awful slit ; 
He stayed in bed a season while 

His wife embroidered it ; 
She fixed it with a patch of sky ; 

It didn't show a bit ! 



THE GIANT 

When walking through a mountain land, 

He sometimes stubs his toe ; 
The shock is called an earthquake by 

The frightened folks below. 

Our weather only comes about 

Up to the Giant's knees ; 
The rest of him sticks up above 

As pleasant as you please. 

So, when he wants to dust his shoes. 

He only has to stand 
A minute in the middle of 

Some handy, windy land. 

He saw the men who went to dig 

The Panama Canal. 
He slapped his knees and laughed until 

He grew hysterical. 

He could have finished that Canal 

With half a dozen kicks ; 
But he had promised not to get 

Mixed up in politics ! 

One night a great astronomer, 

While gazing into space, 
By chance looked through his telescope 

Right in the Giant's face. 



THE GIANT 

He thought it was the moon until 
The Giant winked his eye ; — 

The wise man never dared again 
To search the starry sky. 

We never see the Giant, for 

On seeing us he flies, 
Because he feels so ill at ease 

And conscious of his size. 



THE ARCTIC BALL 

THEY gave a ball in the Arctic Zone, 
And they danced on the frozen sea. 
The North-wind blew on a big trombone, 
And he played tunes that would melt a stone, 
But none in a minor key ; 
For that would melt ice and lower the tone. 
Imagine a ball in the Arctic Zone 
On a melting, mushy sea ! 

An Arctic ball is a long, long thing, J 

For it's dark for six months there. 

They dance from Fall till early Spring, 

The two-step, waltz and the Highland-fling, 

Utterly free from care. 

They eat ice-cream that they have to blow 

To cool it off for it burns them so ; 

And they all drink liquified air. 

The whalloping whales came floundering through 

A hole in the icy floor ; 

And the Seals all came and the Caribou, 

The old Musk-ox, and the Reindeer too 

And many many more. 

They all joined feet and flippers and fins 

And danced 'round the Pole where the world begins, 

With bark and bellow and roar. 



THE ARCTIC BALL 

When Boreas started an Irish reel 

The Reindeer pricked up his ears ; 

And a thrill ran through him from antler to heel 

Of longing to dance that he couldn't conceal, 

Although the most proper of deers. 

So they scattered some sand in an open space 

And gave him a hearty call ; 

And he sidestepped out with a rythmical pace, 

And danced to the reel with the greatest of grace. 

'Twas the finest thing at the ball ! 

An Iceberg waltzed with the Northern Light ; 

And she flushed and smiled and said : 
**0, why, dear Berg, so cool tonight? 

You give me a chill and a frosty fright, 

Lest I catch a cold in my head." 
'* I'm as warm as I dare to be, my sweet. 

With dancing and love of you ; 

If I loved you more or should hurry my feet, 

My blood would rise to a fever heat, 

Fahrenheit thirty-two. 

And then I'd melt and babble away, 

From a tall iceberg to a big flat bay ; 

Melted for love of you." 



THE ARCTIC BALL 

The Walrus danced with the Polar Bear, 
But it wasn't much for grace ; 
Their joints were rusty and out of repair : 
But the Bear wore an icicle wreath in her hair, 
And the Walrus a smiling face. 
And the Chaperone said, behind her fan : 
" They're doing the best they possibly can, 
And laughter is out of place ! " 

The North Pole listened and wondered why 

He felt such a troublesome thrill ; 

Though he stood stock still as they all danced by. 

It was sorely against his will. 

But if he should move just the wink of an eye, 

The world would wabble and things would fly 

And the oceans would surely spill. 

So he heaved a sigh and took a brace 

And held himself in his proper place. 

And ' ' the old world wags on still. ' ' 



A TROPICAL AFTERNOON TEA 

ONE afternoon when a mild monsoon 
Blew over the tropical sea, 
On the ocean strand of a sandy land 
They gave a Tropical Tea. 

0,0, who could foresee 

All the beasts there would be at a Tropical Tea ? 

In a monsoony land, 

With a Tropical Band. 

O, who could foresee ? 

Every lady beast attended the feast 

With the lady birds so fair ; 

But the Whale and the Eel were sure they would feel 

Quite out of their element there. 

O, O, think of an Eel ! 

With a squirming disgust that she couldn't conceal ! 

Nothing wet but the tea, 

Far away from the sea. 

O, think of the Eel ! 

A truce for the day kept the beasts of prey 
From eating a handy guest ; 
So the Tiger was there and the timid Hare, — 
Though the Hare wasn't quite at her best. 



lo A TROPICAL AFTERNOON TEA 

O, O, if the Hare wasn't scared ! 

She would have gone lippetty home if she'd dared. 

But she gave up the flight 

And kept well out of sight. 

O, wasn't she scared ! 

The Zebra sneered when the Leopard appeared, 
And said with a satisfied smile : 
*'In France they would not wear a dress with a spot 
And stripes are the latest style." 

O, surely the Zebra forgot 

That the lycopard's unable to alter a spot ; 

Her critical tone 

She'd have dropped if she'd known. 

She surely forgot ! 

The Ostrich was dressed in her very best 
With plumy wings outspread ; 
But the Paradise Bird said : ' ' How absurd ! 
She hasn' t a plume for her head ! ' ' 

O, O, it wasn't polite ! 

The Ostrich felt sure that she looked like a fright. 

She covered her head 

In a handy sand-bed 

Quite out of their sight. 



A TROPICAL AFTERNOON TEA ii 

The Chimpanzee sipped oolong tea 

And simpered and nibbled a sweet ; 

And the Boa- constrictor would fain have kicked her, 

But she hadn't the requisite feet. 

O, O, she wasn't complete ! 

A twenty foot Boa without any feet ; 

If she'd had twenty three 

What a kicker she'd be ! 

She wasn't complete ! 

An Orang-outang came out and sang 
Unembarrassed by the throng ; 
And they cried encore with a terrible roar 
To her tropical, topical song. 

Song : 

In the jungle dim and dusky, 

A monkey lithe and husky 

Was hanging by his long prehensile tail ; 

When he heard two men, preparing 

An iron cage, declaring 

That they'd learn the monkey lingo without fail. 

O, O, wasn't it fun ! 

He unhooked his tail and he started to run ; 

Every simian friend 

To the dim jungle's end 

He told of the fun ! 



14 A TROPICAL AFTERNOON TEA 

And everyone stayed till the twilight shade 
Dimmed the tropical afternoon. 
And they all went away through the fading day, 
By the moon through the mild Monsoon. 

O, O, it was a lark ! 

They gossipped and stayed till the edge of the dark. 

And some were afraid 

And were sorry they'd stayed. 

O, wasn't it dark ! 



THE TIDES . 

THE ocean had, in days of yore, 
A very dirty, mussjT- shore 
From Newfoundland to Singapore. 

When mermaids wished to go to land, 
To sit and sing upon the strand, 
They had to flop through slimy sand. 

When Neptune saw this, it befell, 
He took his dolphin team and shell 
And sped away across the swell. 

He went to every sea and bay, 

And gave his orders all the way 

From Greenland's rim to far Cathay; — 

And now the tides rise up and roar. 
And twice a day they wash the shore 
From Newfoundland to Singapore ; 

And beaches lie all clean and fair. 
Where mermaids sing and take the air 
With tidy tails and streaming hair. 



NIGHT AND DAY 

TDEFORK Time started on his way 

-*-^ There was no changing night and dayj; 

The sun stood still above Bombay. 

And Bombay people had to hear 
The constant clanging far and near 
Of bells that called to noonday cheer. 

They ate continuously, for when 
They finished their dessert, why then 
They started off with soup again. 

One eats with pleasure and a jest 
With time between meals to digest ; 
But constant eating spoils the zest. 

^)C v!^ ^> v!^ ^(j vl^ 

About three thousand miles away 
In all directions from Bombay 
It was forever early day ; 

And people worked with might and main 
Hoping for dinner time and fain 
For night and rest, but all in vain. 

A sandwich snatched, a wedge of pie, 
A cat-nap stolen on the sly. 
These were the only reasons why, 



NIGHT AND DAY 17 

Since they could neither rest or play, 
They didn't stop in sheer dismay 
And starve, dry up and blow away. 

?fs ?j> ^J^ *^ ^j^ ^J^ 

And further on for many a mile 
The dawn held sway with rosy smile, 
And yawning folks dressed all the while. 

;}c :^ >fj >tc ;Jc ^ 

The rest of earth was brooded o'er 
By endless night, and one grand snore 
Swelled loud and long from shore to shore. 

And folks would wake with start and sigh 
And rub their eyes and wonder why 
Dawn never tinged the eastern sky.* 

The moon and stars were wan and pale 
From overwork, the nightingale 
Could only croak and hoarsely wail. 



* Some critic now will surely say : — 
* ' How could they think of dawn when they 
Had never been where it was day ? ' ' 

Their shiftless forbears may have pined 
In dawn-land, and with debts behind 
Have gone where they were hard to find. 

So, gentle critic, be content. 

This hope of dawn was surely sent 

By atavistic accident. 



i8 NIGHT AND DA Y 

But ghosts might range abroad at will 
Fearless of dawn and cock-crow shrill, 
And waken folks with awful thrill. 

5^ r^ J^ 5^ 5yC JjC 

Now Phoebus driving in his car 
With winged steeds from star to star, 
Passed by the earth and from afar 

Beheld the weary human race ; 
He checked his horses for a space 
And pondered with a serious face ; 

Then put his horses to the run 

And when a long swift course was done 

He hitched his wagon to the sun. 

Since then the dusky night alway 
Around the world has chased the day ; 
And we can work and rest and play. 



FUNNYLAND 

THERE'S an island 'way off in the seas 
Where the babies all grow upon trees. 
It's the j oiliest fun 
To swing in the sun ; 
But they have to look out how they sneeze, 
O, I tell you they'd better not sneeze ! 
They might break themselves off 
With a sneeze or a cough 
And tumble down flop on their knees. 

When the clouds darken mountain and dale, 
When the breeze freshens up to a gale, 

There is screaming and dropping 

And laughing and hopping ; — 
In fact little babies just hail. 
They all lie on the ground in a pile, 
And when people come, after a while. 

They quickly pass by 

The babies that cry, 
And they pick up the babies that smile ; — 
O, they even take twins if they smile ! 

There's a tree where the kitty-cats grow. 
They hang by their tails in a row ; 

If they happen to fall, 

They don't mind it at all. 
For they fall on their feet as you know. 



20 FUNNYLAND 

There once was a puppy-dog tree 
That people came miles just to see. 

But the bark was so loud 

That it scattered the crowd 
And rattled the isles of the sea ; 

It frightened the King, 

And the troublesome thing 
Was cut down by a royal decree. 
Whenever dogs grow now at all, 
They are puggy and snarly and small ; 

They grow on a vine 

Like a squash, and they whine 
Although they can't possibly fall. 

Wherever an elephant grows. 

He's always hitched on by his nose ; 

And he just has to wait 

Till his weight is so great 
That his nose is stretched out to a hose ; — 
That accounts for his rubbery nose. 
And sometimes, when something is wrong. 
The elephant hitch is so strong 

That he fails to get free 

From the elephant tree 
Till his nose is a hundred feet long. 

So he buys a hose- cart 

To trundle a part 
Of his nose as he lumbers along. 



FUNNYLAND 21 

Any sensible person should know 

How giraffes are hitched on when they grow. 

Their necks elongate 

With increase of their weight 
Till their feet touch the ground and they go. 

When first a young donkey appears, 
He hangs from the limb by his ears ; 

And he hangs till the day 

When he first tries to bray — 
O, the tree shakes him off when it hears ! 
And he runs away wagging his ears. 

The birdies swim 'round in the sea, 
With the wasp and the bungleing bee. 

If you dangle a worm, 

With a wiggley squirm, 
You might catch a chick-a-dee-dee. 

The fishes swim 'round in the sky. 
With pollywogs woggleing by, 

While frogs hop around 

On the clouds to the sound 
Of the song of the lobsters that fly. 



22 " FUNNYLAND 

A wonderful Funnyland sight 
Is a mountain of very great height; 
But you never could guess 
What happens unless 
You should be there on Saturday night. 

When the sun in the west is aglow 
The whole mountain rumbles, and lo, 

It pours out a stream 

Of assorted ice-cream 
By the banks where the macaroons grow. 
Then from city and country and town, 
The children, of king and of clown, 

All run with their spoons 

And they pick macaroons 
And they eat till they have to lie down. 

But the thing that the children adore, 
Is a mountain that stands by the shore, 

With a cratery pot 

Where molasses keeps hot 
With trickles of taffy galore. 
Sometimes it rains pop-corn at night ; 
And all of the kernels that light 

On the mountain-top, pop, 

And they hop, and they drop, 
Till the top of the mountain is white ; 

And corn balls roll down 

To the edge of the town, 
While the children dance 'round with delight. 



FUNNYLAND 23 

There's a spring hidden deep in a glade, 
Of most excellent pink lemonade. 

It falls in a pool 

All bubbly cool 
From a babbling and brawling cascade ; 
And the children, each summery day 
When they're thirsty with rollicking play, 

Go there and dip up 

Lemonade in a cup 
And drink till their buttons give 'way. 

When Funnyland children have chills 
And fever, or colicky ills. 

They are not put to bed 

To be poulticed and fed 
On gruel and puckery pills. 
When the Doctor comes in to advise, 
He says, as he scowls and looks wise : 
" You've been eating brown bread 

And potatoes instead 
Of good wholesome candies and pies. 
I can tell by the look in your eye 
That you've kept your feet constantly dry. 

For a lassie or lad 

It is best to be bad, 
Don't even be good on the sly." 



24 FUNNYLAND 

THE Funnyland clerk of the weather 
Doesn't waste his time finding out whether 

Tomorrow '11 be blowy 

Or sunny or snowy ; — 
O, he's wiser than that altogether. 
He carefully studies the past 
And runs up a flag on a mast, 

So that people can see 

If there's going to be 
A thunder storm week before last. 

THE hunters go forth to the lair 
Of the Tiger with crimps in his hair. 

And peppery snuff 

Is the terrible stuff 
That they shoot at the blundering Bear. 
For lo, when they happen to spy 
The bears that go wandering by, 

They shoot off their gun 

And, although the bears run. 
They sneeze off their heads and they die. 



FUNNYLAND 25 

But they never go hunting this way 
For the Tiboons that live in the bay ; 

When they sneeze, O, the sound 

Cracks the air, and the ground 
Wabbles 'round in a terrible way. 

So the King's Grenadiers, 

With wool in their ears, 
Stand always in warlike array 

On the edge of the sand 

With a fan in each hand 
To keep tickley dust from the bay ; 

So the Tiboons won't sneeze 

Shaking surf from the seas 
And rattling the islands away. 

THE King goes forth daily at noon. 
To parade with the knights of the moon ; 
And he's grandly arrayed 
In clothes that are made 
From the skin of a raging Tiboon ; 
A roaring and ramping Tiboon. 



26 FUNNYLAND 

There was only one man in the isles 
Who was wily enough with his wiles 

To capture this beast, 

So that people could feast 
And the King could keep up with the styles. 
He stealthily crept to the bay 
While the little Tiboons were at play, 

And their parents were drowsing 

Or quietly browsing. 
(They can't rage the whole of the day ! ) 

The man waded quietly near 

To the biggest Tiboon, from the rear, 

And he tied a tin pail 

To the end of his tail ; 
O, the Tiboon went crazy with fear ; 
His raging was awful to hear. 

But he finally died 

Of a twisted inside, — 
Thus ended his ramping career. • 



FUNNYLAND 

THE soldiers are never afraid 
To taarch in a long cavalcade 

To His Majesty's park 

To shoot at a mark 
Or take part in a deadly parade ; — 
A boom-ta-rah-rahing parade. 

When the band blows a blare 

To crack open the air, 
O, the soldiers are never afraid. 
For years, through the King's oversight, 
They had never been called out to fight ; 

And they thirsted for gore, 

(Other people's) and swore 
That they languished to fight for the right. 

One day the King happened to spy 
A ship sailing by in the sky ; 

And, I grieve to relate. 

Made a face at the Mate, 
And the Mate was insulted thereby ; 
In fact " he had blood in his eye." 



27 



28 FUNNYLAND 

So he signalled the Chief Engineer 
To check the ship's raging career, 

And the anchor dropped down 

And caught on the Town, 
While the children all trembled with fear, — 
A lovely, blood-curdling fear ! 
Then the best parachute was prepared, 
And the Mate, while the people all stared, 

Came zigzagging down 

In the midst of the town ; 
But the King didn't look a bit scared. 
(Though I think that he would if he'd dared.) 

The face of the furious Mate 

Was covered with whiskers and hate ; 

*' The people," said he, 

' ' Who make faces at me 

All meet with a horrible fate, — 

A midnighty, church-yardy fate." 
' ' Surrender your Funnyland isle ! 

Surrender your treasury pile ! 
Surrender to me ! ' ' 
But the King said, said he, 
* ' Excuse me dear Sir, if I smile ! 

(O, his smile could be seen for a mile !) 



FUNNYLAND 29 

When the speaking and smiling were done 
The army came up at a run. 

O, the Mate was alarmed, 

For each soldier was armed 
With a kind of sky-rocketty gun. 
They drew up in battle array 
All loaded and primed for the fray. 

O, the racket was dire 

At the order to fire, 
And the Mate — why he fainted away. 
('Twas the one way of getting away.) 
Then there came a most terrible crash. 
Such as big things make, going to smash ; 

For the ship struck the ground, 

And the air all around 
Was filled up with splinters and trash, 
Dust, kindling-wood, oakum and hash. 
(The Captain and crew were the hash.) 

The Mate knew his chances were slim, 
But he never suspected how grim 

Was his oncoming fate. 

He was destined to wait 
On the King who'd made faces at him, — 
Disrespectful, wry faces at him ! 



30 FUNNYLAND 

If you ever should sail in the air 
As mate of a ship, O, beware ! 
If a King in full view 
Should make faces at you, 
Don't suffer your anger to flare ; — 
Remember this tragic affair ! 

THE Funnyland chimneys are all 
So large and exceedingly tall. 

That Santa Claus shook 

In his shoes when he took 
A look at the distance to fall ; 

Then he altered his plan 

Like a wise little man 
And didn't climb chimneys at all. 
But in dooryards of every degree 
He planted a curious tree ; 

And now every year 

When Christmas is near 
The fruit is a wonder to see. 
There are dollies and trolleys and rows 
Of silky and satiny clothes ; 

And candles and strings 

Of tinsel, and rings 
For the fingers and bells for the toes. 



FUNNYLAND 31 

There are serpents and sugary hearts ; 
Tin soldiers and cinnamon tarts ; 

While bicycles grow 

On the branches below 
With wagons and wabbly carts. 

There are ducks that you squeeze and they squawk ; 
And green poUy-parrots that talk ; 

And filberts and figs, 

And cottony pigs 
That you pull by a string and they walk. 
On Christmas Eve children go out 
To the Santa Claus tree with a shout, 

And put baskets below 

The things that they know 
That they couldn't be happy without. 

Then Santa Claus comes in the night 
When there isn't a person in sight ; 

And he chuckles with glee 

As he climbs every tree 
And shakes it with all of his might. 
Things rustle and rattle and flop, 
And loosen and tumble and drop, 

Till the children awake 

With the noise that they make 
And the baskets are full to the top. 



32 FUNNYLAND 

Just think of the wide-open eyes 
Of children awaiting surprise ! 

They tumble and twist 

And sit up and insist 
That the sun has forgotten to rise. 
Then all, when the windows grow gray, 
Run out in their bedtime array, 

And the frolic begins ; — 

They would like to be twins 
To double the joy of the day. 



FUNNYLAND 

WHEN slanting moonbeams touch the hills, 
And shadows fill the glen ; 
When people all are fast asleep, 

The little maids and men 
From Fairyland come sliding down 

The moonbeams in a row, 
With tuneful laugh and merry jest 

And faces all aglow ; 
As children in the winter lands 

Toboggan on the snow. 
The moonlight gleams on gauzy wings 

And glints from precious stones ; 
And caps are crowned with little bells 

With silvery tinkling tones, 
Each Fairy wears a cob-web dress, 

And through this filmy guise 
The mischief shows in every move 

And sparkles in their eyes. 

And some with bags of happy dreams 

Go softly stealing where 
The island children lie asleep, 

And while they're unaware 
Untie the bags, and lo, the doors 

Of wonderland stand wide ! 
I hope, my child, you've been sometimes 

Where dream-bags were untied. 



33 



34 FUNNYLAND 

The crooked gnomes, with peaked hats 

And faces ill to see, 
Come swiftly riding night-mares too, 

And with an elfish glee 
They gallop over children who 

Ate fruitcake after tea. 
I hope, my child, you do not know 

About the things they see. 

One fairy stole a pepper-box 

And flew above the bay, 
And scattered clouds of pepper where 

The sleeping Tiboons lay. 
The Tiboons sneezed, the islands shook, 

And chimneys tumbled down. 
The people thought a foe had come 

To cannonade the town. 
The King got up and trembled so 

He joggled off his crown. 
My child, if Tiboons chance to live 

In any neighboring bay, 
You'd better lock the pepper up 

Whenever you're away. 

One night with fairy mandolins 

They played such 'witching strains, 

A kind of dancing madness ran 
Through every hearer's veins ; 



FUNNYLAND 35 

The players passed the Palace Gate ; 

The King and Queen and all 
The people of the household came 

A-dancing through the hall. 
They hadn't time to don their dress 

Who heard the music's call. 
They danced the streets, and all who heard 

The music lilt along, 
Came tripping lightly at the sound 

To join the merry throng ; 
Till all the people in the isle. 

In sleeping clothes arrayed, 
Were dancing in the moonlight night 

In motley masquerade. 
They danced and whirled beside the bay 

Where Tiboons by the score. 
Who'd heard the merry mandolins, 

Were skipping on the shore. 
One Tiboon gave his flipper to 

His Majesty the King, 
And there together on the sand 

They *' cut a pigeon-wing." 
The Fairies laughed until they cried, 

' Twas such a funny thing ! 



36 FUNNYLAND 

At dawn the Fairies flew away ; 

The dancing stopped — ah me ! 
The weariness and burning shame 

Were very sad to see. 
A sort of Sunday quiet filled 

The isle from shore to shore ; 
But Fairyland resounded with 

A most hilarious roar. 
My child, when slanting moonbeams fall 

Around your house, beware, 
I^est Fairies with their mandolins 

Should catch you unaware. 



A MARSH LYRIC 

with humble apologies to the Shade of Bdward Lear. 

HE went to hunt on the marsh, he did ; 
A middle-aged man was he ; 
In spite of all his friends could say, 
On a foggy morn of a Winter's day 

To the mushy marsh went he. 
And everyone said who saw him go ; 
O, he'll surely stick in the slough below, 
For the mud is deep and the tide is strong 
And happen what may it's extremely wrong 

For a man of forty three." 

Slime and slough, slime and slough, 

In the marsh where the wild ducks swim ; 

Their heads are green and their bills are blue 
But there wasn't a duck for him ! 

The water came into his boots, it did ; 

The water and mud came in ; 
But he called aloud, '' My boots will do 
To hold my feet and the water too, ' ' 

As he held his chattering chin. 
And he found a fish and a soft-shell clam 
And he said : ' ' How extremely wise I am ; 
Though the marsh is broad and the sloughs are long, 
I shall never think I was rash or wrong 

To come where the fog blows in." 

Slime and slough, slime and slough, 

In the marsh where the wild ducks swim ; 

Their heads are green and their bills are blue 
But there wasn't a duck for him ! 



38 A MARSH L YRIC 

He went to the shore of the bay, he did 

To the shore where the tules grow ; 
And he shot at a hawk and a brown marsh-owl, 
And a rail and a teal and a feathery fowl 

Whose name he didn't know. 
He shot at a snipe and a wild goose gray, 
And a spoonbill duck that didn't stay, 
And a fat mud-hen and a butter-ball ; 
And he shot three times at a heron tall. 

And a pelican big and slow. 

Slime and slough, slime and slough. 

In the marsh where the wild ducks swim ; 

Their heads are green and their bills are blue 
But there wasn't a duck for him ! 

The birds all laughed oHt loud, they did ; 

To see the hunter there ; 
And they said : " It's just no end of fun 
When a middle-aged man with a great big gun 

Shoots ragged holes in the air." 
And the wild gray goose kept laughing till 
The tears in streams ran down his bill ; 
For there's fun so funny, the ducks agree 
That even the biggest goose can see ; 

But the hunter was unaware. 

Slime and slough, slime and slough, 

In the marsh where the wild ducks swim ; 

Their heads are green and their bills are blue 
But there wasn't a duck for him ! 



A MARSH LYRIC 

Toward night the man came back, he did, 

With movements sad and slow. 
And they said : " He's been to the briny bay ; 
And he wasn't drowned in the usual way ; 

But he hasn't a bird to show." 
They gave him toast and some tule tea, 
And drank long life that they couldn't foresee ; 
And everyone said : ' ' Some other day 
We too will hunt by the foggy bay 

Where the slimy sloughs o'erflow." 

Slime and slough, slime and slough, 

In the marsh where the wild ducks swim ; 

Their heads are green and their bills are blue 
But there wasn't a duck for him ! 



39 



THE BOY AND THE BASILISK 

OF all the fearsome, ugly things 
With arms or legs or fins or wings, 
That haunt the earth or seas or skies, 
The Basilisk with fiery eyes 
For fearsomeness took every prize. 
His home, within a barren glen. 
Was shunned by beasts and birds and men. 
It didn't matter ; what cared he 
For senseless sociability. 

Daily the Basilisk would take 

A trip down to a boiling lake 

Of brimstone which he drank until 

He had to crawl with care or spill. 

He thought hot brimstone just the thing 

With small blue flames for garnishing. 

He swallowed it without a wink ; 

It served him both for food and drink. 

Then stretched upon the blistering shore 

He slept, and lo, a sulphurous snore 

Resounded loud and long and slow 

From Zululand to Borneo. 

None knew who heard this fearsome roar 

Of what the future held in store. 



THE BOY AND THE BASILISK 41 

When in his most goodnatured mood, 
He basked content and filled with food, 
His mildest glance would kill a tree, 
Or split a rock or boil the sea. 
'Twere wisdom then to shun his path 
If he were roused to righteous wrath. 

The Imp who kept the boiling lake 
Supplied with sulphur, by mistake 
Sent all the stock another way ; 
The surface settled every day ; 
And then — the lake went wholly dry. 
It was a fearful hungry cry 
With which, in no placating mood, 
The Basilisk set out for food. 

With anxious haste he left the glen 
And sought the homes of beasts and men ; 
For, lacking brimstone, he could stand 
'Most any food that came to hand. 
In fact he could, as you can guess. 
Stand anything but emptyness. 
For forty feet to left and right 
He blasted everything in sight. 
He spied upon a distant steep 
A peaceful flock of grazing sheep. 
He hustled up, this monster grim. 
For mutton was the meat for him ! 



THE BOY AND THE BASILISK 

OF all the fearsome, ugly things 
With arms or legs or fins or wings, 
That haunt the earth or seas or skies, 
The Basilisk with fiery eyes 
For fearsomeness took every prize. 
His home, within a barren glen. 
Was shunned by beasts and birds and men. 
It didn't matter ; what cared he 
For senseless sociability. 

Daily the Basilisk would take 

A trip down to a boiling lake 

Of brimstone which he drank until 

He had to crawl with care or spill. 

He thought hot brimstone just the thing 

With small blue flames for garnishing. 

He swallowed it without a wink ; 

It served him both for food and drink. 

Then stretched upon the blistering shore 

He slept, and lo, a sulphurous snore 

Resounded loud and long and slow 

From Zululand to Borneo. 

None knew w^ho heard this fearsome roar 

Of what the future held in store. 



THE BOY AND THE BASILISK 41 

When in his most goodnatured mood, 
He basked content and filled with food, 
His mildest glance would kill a tree, 
Or split a rock or boil the sea. 
'Twere wisdom then to shun his path 
If he were roused to righteous wrath. 

The Imp who kept the boiling lake 
Supplied with sulphur, by mistake 
Sent all the stock another way ; 
The surface settled every day ; 
And then — the lake went wholly dry. 
It was a fearful hungry cry 
With which, in no placating mood, 
The Basilisk set out for food. 

With anxious haste he left the glen 
And sought the homes of beasts and men ; 
For, lacking brimstone, he could stand 
'Most any food that came to hand. 
In fact he could, as you can guess, 
Stand anything but emptyness. 
For forty feet to left and right 
He blasted everything in sight. 
He spied upon a distant steep 
A peaceful flock of grazing sheep. 
He hustled up, this monster grim. 
For mutton was the meat for him ! 



42 THE BOY AND THE BASHISK 

As he approached with hungry gaze, 

Each sheep burned up with sulphurous blaze ; 

And coming to the place he found 

Just piles of ashes on the ground. 

Now when a monster seeking food 

Finds ashes, the resulting mood 

Is apt to be a thing to dread ; 

In fact he turned a fiery red. 

He would have turned white hot but he 

Feared burning up spontaneously. 

He could have raged and gnashed his jaws ; 

He could have scratched with all his claws ; 

He had a long and mighty tail, 

He could have lashed it like a flail. 

What was the use, no thing in sight 

Was left whereon to vent his spite. 

Why should he make a grand-stand play 

With grand-stands all so far away ? 

The Basilisk was not too dense 

To temper rage with common sense. 

He reasoned thus : * * Since I destroy 

By gazing, things I'd fain enjoy, 

The one conclusion that I find 

Is — I must starve or go it blind." 

He shut his eyelids with a snap 

And started out across the map. . 



THE BOY AND THE BASILISK 43 

He gobbled here a flock of sheep, 
And there he found some cows asleep. 
By working overtime he could 
Obtain a modest livlihood. 
Sometimes he made a meal of men, 
He could get on with eight or ten. 
A load of wheat, a bale of hay, 
A bunch of bushes by the way. 
All these sufi&ced to partly fill 
The need of his digestive mill. 

Sometimes when hunger would abate 
From fullness, he would meditate ; 
And burning curiosity 
Would fill his bosom full, for he 
Was fain to see the landscape where 
He sought his humble daily fare. 
But when he chanced to crack his eye 
All things in sight would blaze and fry ; 
And thus he failed of his desire 
To see the country free from fire. 
And also, when he tried to see. 
No man in range had time to flee. 
Perhaps 'twere better just to burn 
And have one's ashes in an urn. 
Than to be gobbled up and risk 
One's self inside the Basilisk. 



44 THE BOY AND THE BASILISK 

This Monster with his hungry wrath 
I^eft death and ruin in his path ; 
And as he went on pasturing, 
He neared the palace of the King. 
The King had heard how, far away, 
The Basilisk made disarray 
By skufl&ng up the landscape's face 
And swallowing the populace. 
If this continued, it was plain 
He'd have no reason left to reign. 
Though far above the common mob. 
He didn't like to lose his job. 
'Twas now a far more serious thing, 
The populace might lose their King ! 
So he sent out a hurry call ; 
The Council hustled to the hall, 
And talked and talked and talked some more ; 
And then — a Basiliskian roar 
Reverberated near and far ; 
It made the palace windows jar ! 
Then silence fell and everyone 
Forgot to talk and wished to run. 
('Tis hoped the reader won't mind this 
Irrelevant parenthesis. 
Bach King or Queen or Potentate 
Or man who runs a town or state. 
Should have a Basilisk to stalk 
Around the place for stopping talk.) 



THE BOY AND THE BASHISK 45 

Responding to the King's command, 

A man whose voice could drown a band, 

Came up and stood before the the throne. 

The King passed out his megaphone 

And said : * ' Go forth by every way 

Unto my kingdom's bound and say, 

'Hear ye, hear ye, the King declares 

That he who kills this beast or scares 

His hungry ugliness away 

To lands where he'll be sure to stay, 

Shall be a knight and have a key 

That fits the royal treasury.' " 

The man went forth straightway and tried 

His voice upon the countryside. 

The Basilisk, in great surprise. 

Woke up and almost blinked his eyes ; 

He wished so much to see who kept 

This racket going while he slept. 

At last before he noticed it, 

His eyelids opened just a slit ; 

A little blaze, a little whir — 

The King had lost his messenger ! 
* ' Alas the day ! ' ' bewailed the King, 
*' I see my finish in this thing. 

The Council can convene no more 

For fear the Basilisk may roar. 



46 THE BOY AND THE BASILISK 

The soldiers are of no avail ; 
You can't expect them not to quail 
When thinking of the awful risk 
In war against the Basilisk." 

Just then, a half grown Boy alone 
Came in and walked up to the throne, 
And said : " Your Majesty, I heard 
Your proclamation. I am stirred 
To undertake to overwhelm 
The beast that now despoils the realm." 
The King considered for a while 
And raised his hand to hide a smile. 
But though His Royal Highness smiled, 
'Most any plan however wild, 
Seemed in this dire emergency 
Worth trying ; therefore a decree 
Went forth at once to authorize 
This Boy's unusual enterprise. 
"Farewell, my Boy," called out the King, 
"And may you overcome the thing ! " 
* * Prepare ' ' said he, * ' a burial urn 
To hold this youth on his return." 

The Boy took neither bow nor spear, 
Nor any other warlike gear. 
A basket, broom and tin dustpan 
Were carried by a serving man. 



THE BOY AND THE BASHISK 47 

Two others carried on before 
A mirror large as any door. 
Thus they went forth along the way 
Frequented by this beast of prey. 
With mirror set and polished clear, 
The party waited in the rear. 
The Monster came ; they could not see, 
But hearing made them wish to flee. 
He blindly stumbled up before 
The mirror ; then he heard a roar ; 
He stopped ; his eyelids slowly raised ; 
His eyes, uncovered, fairly blazed ; 
He saw himself ; he winked — too late ! 
His mirrored glance had sealed his fate. 
A great black smoke, a flame, a boom. 
Some ashes swept up with a broom ! 
The fearsome Basilisk had died, 
Against his will, by suicide. 
His ashes occupied the urn 
Prepared against the Boy's return. 

And when the Boy grew up he chose 
The Princess for his bride and rose 
To occupy the throne in state 
When Basilisks were out of date. 



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